Healing Cafe Message 12th April 2020

Welcome to the Healing Café  

I’m Kathleen Casagrande, Managing Director of KC Consulting Systems.

Happy Easter wherever you are, mostly at home in physical isolation as opposed to social isolation.

We’re not socially isolated, we’re on social media here aren’t we?

This is a great time to get a little perspective on life don’t you think?

Here is a quote from the beautiful Niamh Cronin on the 10th – Good Friday actually, she said:   

if you think freely for yourself, you claim your own creative power, you choose to end the cycles of conflict, war and disassociation then there can be no battle for your seat.

Collectively if we choose this, we can bring the end to this cycle.

We can end the battle of the ages, one by one, by going within ourselves. 

So, dealing with change in isolation.  How do you cope with it?  Is it suffocating or is it a blessing or maybe somewhere in between?

Choosing to end, to END, cycles of conflict – how do people do that if nobody gets it, nobody understands what it’s really like?  We try to make people listen, to understand, and yet nobody can particularly if we’re dealing with mental illness. 

That’s the sadness, that’s the depth, the disassociation, no battle, no arguments, no threatening to tell the truth – just nothingness. 

And sadness, deep unresolved sadness AND grief. 

So, the healing must start within, within all of ourselves, and how better than to be on our own, in this space of social isolation. 

There are more than moments of silence now, where the universe has forced us to think, right here, right now.

Think on our own, in our own space about what is going on.  What is really going on – within us?

Our journeys start at different times in our lives.  This corona virus has forced everybody universally to think within.

Many are busy making points or differences in other people’s lives to keep busy, to stop from that self-exploration, maybe they were the ones hit the hardest. 

Let’s change direction; let’s get distracted; let’s not think too much; let’s not go down that rabbit hole.  Well let’s go down that rabbit hole and find what is really there. 

What are you, personally, really about?

Why are you here?  What have you done?  Why?  What will you do now and why?

You see, I travelled this journey nearly two years ago now when I was first diagnosed with cancer and having chemotherapy placed me in a space of social isolation.  I learned what that was like.  I learned how to plan my life and work around my body’s needs.

I still plan my trips to the shops for groceries, fruit and vegetables. 

What I miss the most are my grand-children and seeing photos just isn’t the same.

Hearing their voices on the phone is sort of there, except – gosh I miss them, well those that do want to know me. 

I have done something though as I do every year, I do something to make a change in that direction of grandchildren who don’t know me. 

Who knows how that will roll out – maybe not at all? 

However one day, if one of them finds me and says why didn’t you try, then I have evidence of how every year, every few months actually, throughout the last 21 years, I have tried, I have made a difference and so that is it, that is how it is. 

On a lighter note, as there is always a lighter note – the rabbit came to most hopefully.

The Easter bunny, keeping things magical for the children.  Oh and the adults who are still children in adult bodies huh? 

What we’re doing is securing memories.  As we age it’s the memories that keeps them vivid in the form of photos. 

Did some of you see the old photos I’ve been posting – geez they made me laugh – the fashion, the hairstyles and yet we were all together, all united, funny ways, attitudes, values and still together.

What is happening in our world?

Last week I watched the Queensland Weekender after our Healing Café, I think it’s on at 5.30 channel 7 and the bloke started the show by saying “lucky for us, our backyards in nature are big and beautiful”.

So right hey, and that is exactly what I say to people and do exactly that myself.  When the going gets tough, nature will never let you down.  You will always find something beautiful to lay your eyes on. 

Compassion has never been more important than right now.

So, what are we doing?  What can we do about what we know we can do?

Sounds a bit complicated doesn’t it?

Anyway, back to reality now and my cooking.  I’ve been inclined to cook things from scratch, like using what grows in my garden and making food like Italian Sugo, instead of simple canned or bottled tomato pasta sauces. 

My mother in-law Lucy, Lucia taught me many ways of cooking while I was married to the family. Gosh, I so miss her presence.  We still talk from time to time on the phone and today is her birthday.  She is 88 years old now and going quite well actually, dare I say “for her age”.    

She instilled so much in my life about family values, unconditional love and staying together no matter what. 

Sometimes our own kids let us down though and she said Kath what do I do, he’s my son and I said I know, I get it.  I too have a son – well I have 3 actually except we both had sons who did the wrong thing. 

Her and I don’t see each other now except we do still talk, and we will always be connected. 

And again, back on track and the true meaning of Easter – what does it mean to you?

There is always a full moon at Easter time, I know that.  Jesus was crucified on the cross at a full moon, that’s why this time lands around a full moon. 

Last night I posted that photo of what I saw in the night sky.  Yes, tricky to see in a video or photo except there was no-one else here and I don’t know, I just felt like sharing it with somebody, anybody, you know. 

It wasn’t a plane; I was watching it for about an hour.  Well it felt like that. It was just after midnight, my limit of what I am working on about going to bed earlier, to break that cycle of night owl stuff. 

Anyway, this UFO what I decided, moved very slowly; could have been one of those satellites that I keep hearing about.  It was in the East at the time the moon was at it’s highest and 1.00am for me anyway. 

What is interesting though, while gazing at the night sky, full of stars and the moon of course, are the thoughts that ruminate through one’s mind. 

How often do you do that?  Ruminate at the stars?

We could call it a form of meditation, focusing on the sky at night, in the dark, on one’s own, as you do, perhaps?

Thinking I could bring out all of my crystals and have them bathing in the moonlight, and other stuff of course. 

I did actually think of doing that on Friday or Thursday with the pink full moon, except you know what I did instead last Wednesday in apprehension or preparation of the full moon, I went to the Crystal Warehouse, specifically to buy another pink crystal, like this. 

So you have to have an ABN to purchase the minimum of $100 and this was not that of course so I bought two and then I was drawn to this Sulphur Cluster, look at the colour, it’s chartreuse which was my first husband’s favourite colour.  Yeah, I know it looks yellow here except at the Crystal Warehouse, it was a vibrant chartreuse and spoke to me very loudly, so I had to have it here. 

Then there was that rainbow hematite over there near Rikki Tribe’s photo and a variety of other little bits and pieces that my grandchildren love to choose when they’re here, like these little amethyst chunks. 

And, oh, check these out – desert roses Michael – when you do finally get back here, one is for you because you do have children who do know me.  Love that.   

And yes, Michelle, I did replace the tiger’s eye.  Look……

 I didn’t know why I was drawn to the Crystal Warehouse last week; I had an insatiable desire to buy crystals.  Some people need clothes to adorn themselves in, I’m not one of those but seeking out crystals – well that must be one of my passions. 

I used to bathe them all in the moonlight and Penny my daughter-in-law would laugh at me.  Luke, my son would say ‘how are the crystals going, clean enough’. 

Spending time out in the garden, collecting herbs, dividing my lemon grass, re-potting succulents into hanging baskets, planting passion seeds, passion fruit – hoping for the best.  New growth – I love it. 

Then there are my ongoing cooking ventures – how are yours going?  Feeling your way around your kitchen again?  More closely?  More adventurous.  It’s funny how the look of a recipe sometimes tastes different to what you imagined it could taste like hey?

I put together some cookie dough protein balls made with peanut paste and almond meal.  Jessica called over the other day with these rabbit ears when I mentioned to her how important it was to wear them this Sunday, being Easter Sunday and all.

Anyway, she said they tasted like shit; no sugar see.  I did remind her that she would not know what shit tasted like because she was not like a couple of my other children who may or may not remember what that tastes like.  Hmmmmm……… yeah, we won’t go there. 

As you hear, I have been quite industrious here at home with just little ventures out.  The trip to the crystal warehouse was straight after the Zoom session at the college.  Now I’ve polished that process and we have them here in my home. 

I may still venture back to the college on the 29th which is the next skills in action day and evening because I do like to catch up with what is going on and we do maintain the physical distancing rules however who knows by then where we will all be as a nation. 

Everything is moving so rapidly hey, things are changing at such an amazing speed, it’s like waking up every day to something else, of course new information except totally new hey.   

The practise sessions went quite well via Zoom on Wednesday.  Those that attended were satisfied with how it proceeded. 

To be able to say their skills out loud with another person as a witness.  Working out how they would respond to some situations is of tremendous benefit to all. 

Sometimes asking “how would you like to proceed?” in certain situations could be perfect or totally wrong and it’s so good to be able to practise that out loud.

Now some have asked me to create some extra zoom classes like that, not just for students – can be outside of the college – we can do this right here and in your own home where you may like to learn communication skills to practise for job interviews or having a conversation with somebody that you would like to practise.

Finding the courage sometimes to speak to another person or to practise what you preach huh? 

I have been considering how to move forward as well with my business to share and to be of service to others.  It’s all a process isn’t it?

“How are you coping” is another opening question which could be a closed or open question actually, couldn’t it?  Those sorts of skills, said out loud, makes a difference – simple and yet effective. 

Interpretations is another thing again.  Funnily enough, I was having a Zoom call with Danielle the other day and her daughter phoned and said they got fish.  When Danielle told me this, I said oh did Harmony go fishing with her Dad?

Presupposition and then in my mind morphed into, well if they hadn’t caught any, they could still go and buy some from the fish and chip shop – maybe that’s what she meant?  And this is all in seconds in my head, thinking I wonder where they could buy fish still?  I wonder if they’re going to buy it already cooked or maybe Danielle cooks her own.  I wonder if she rolls it in cornflour like I do?

So, to interrupt my mind over-actively deciding what was going on, she stated, no we have a fish tank and they went to buy fish for that.  What the…………….?????

See, see, see, huh?  Huh?  Huh?

There is a classic example of presuming.  You cannot presume. Ever, when in the field of counselling or coaching.  All of that was going through my mind while Dani was talking to her daughter in probably less than a minute on the phone. 

So, while having our space to think and bomb our brains with assumptions, ideally we could read a book of intellectual knowledge or just pure entertainment OR how’s this?

Write our own book. 

Janice Muir is going to present soon how she will market her Healing through Writing online and will show you step by step how to do this via a program which has taken her literally ages to perfect. 

Who knows, I may be involved.  Because through her knowledge of how to put these programs together may in fact, spur me on to put together my counselling skills in action video course that I have been waffling on about for – well for way too long – don’t you think?

Mental health – that is the catch-word today; it is all about mental health and several people have asked me how do I imagine this will be after everything goes back to normal and I am here to say that everything will not be going back to NORMAL, because this is not normal. 

I do know and value the importance of social connectedness, whether in person, via Zoom, phone, and social media and soon, more intuitively. 

Yes, talking, communicating in person, is good, to see facial expressions and body language and in kids’ circumstances, hugs, kisses, doing stuff together – human connectedness. 

Look after yourselves first though remember; what do they say, “put the oxygen mask on yourself first”. 

I watched Sam Johnson being interviewed last night with his sister Hilde promoting her book “The Loudness of Unsaid Things” identifying it as being about dealing with change.  Working on the death of their mother who did commit suicide when she was 8 and Sam was only 3.  I didn’t know that side of him. 

Dealing with change is what it’s all about isn’t it?  Look at us – look at us all in this together. 

We’re dealing with it in the best ways we know how.  Building on it day by day.  Staying afloat.

Re-focusing, re-grouping and remembering – the good stuff or more importantly sometimes the not so good stuff so you have something to work on. 

Remember if you need support here – reach out. 

Turning all of this into future positive interactions – don’t you think? 

Yeah sorry about the morbidity filtering through today – it’s Easter Sunday – another day of celebration of families and here I am – talking to the ones who mean the most, sorry, family means the most except where the hell are ya huh?  Huh? 

So I’m a realist – there is no pretense here; sometimes I am a little more joyful in appearance than what is really going on and what I’m doing is tricking my subconscious to believe that I am fine and you know what?  It works.  It works for me and has done throughout my entire career of hardships of what life has thrown my way to learn more from.  To learn more about myself in order to be able to teach and share with others.  That you too can and will survive whatever happens.

You are meant to be here; this is no accident.  We are all in this together for a purpose. 

Remember that………

So, take what you need and leave the rest just like me.    

Our lives will never be the same again and I wish you well in doing so.

Have a happy, happy Easter, remember some say Jesus rose again today and lived on. 

I’m sorry I haven’t studied the Bible, just a quick closing question now.

How long did the man Jesus, in human form, live after he rose on Easter Sunday?  Did he ever die in human form like he did on the cross on Good Friday?

I know the story goes that he rose on Easter Sunday – ok – for how long did he walk on our Earth planet then?

On that note – I shall await your answers, responses, further discussions and we will all heal together in our beautiful café here and touch base again next Sunday at 4.30 or before if and when I decide to do some form of Zoom classes about communication skills ok. 

Bye for now. 

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