Healing Cafe Message 15th March 2020

Hi there, welcome to the Healing Café  

My name is Kathleen Casagrande; I am the Managing Director of KC Consulting Systems.

No, I am not going to discuss the ramifications of the coronavirus, goodness knows it’s blasted at us from every angle, no escape at all hey. 

So, yes, a good prognosis on Thursday from my oncologist, doesn’t need to see me for another 6 weeks.  Will keep track of my blood readings and yes, I will absolutely stay on the right track this time.  I was treating my recovery quite frivolously last time and believe that I didn’t allow my time to be valued or my health and what I was consuming. 

Now I’m taking life more seriously particularly my time.

This is the main thing I share with all my clients – the value of time – their time, and mine of course.  We know once it’s gone, it’s gone hey.

Please regard your time as an investment in your future. 

Your future business and your self-growth results. 

Does what you’re currently doing fall into one of those categories?  Business or self-growth?

Now in self-growth I’m talking about personal development, what do you do for your SELF?

We’re growing all the time otherwise we’re dead, aren’t we?  Particularly our brains.  How do you feed your brain?

What books do you read or listen to ie audio books – do you feed your brain in the same proportion to your body?

What do you watch – on TV, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, what else?

What are you participating in with blogs, instant gratification like Instagram I only look there for my kids and grandchildren mostly and talking about developmental growth – had a great meeting on Wednesday with Chris Seipel – he identifies as a mental health mentor.  Chris has had a mountain of experience with secondary school boys because of his teaching history.

Now I feel I owe Chris an apology.  I am a bit harsh sometimes when I talk with people and without sounding like I’m using ageism, it seems to be a common problem with people around my age.  I feel as if I can say this as an authority because I am ‘mature’. 

It could be that we have been around longer, and often a lot longer and a lot of us are in a hurry, yes, we get impatient – sorry. 

From my perspective, not sure about others, when I see how amazing some of you are and you’re not doing what you are meant to be doing for some unknown reason, it just well irritates me.  What are you waiting for for God’s sake?

Look I don’t know.  It’s just that when I see the good in you, I want action.  I don’t know should I be more patient with conditions like anxiety?

When somebody holds onto it like its their best friend and don’t want to let it go, is that ok?  Why?

It really is ok to let it go and get on with what you are here to do – please. 

I remember from a very early age, my Mum taught us all to simply “think of something else”.  If we needed to go to the toilet; if we were nervous about something; if we wanted to say something hurtful; if we wanted to argue; if we had a tummy ache, a head ache, it was all about thinking of something else – diversion techniques – maybe. 

So, for people suffering with fibromyalgia, or cancer, anxiety, distress of neuropathy, lymphedema, pain in joints, I know it’s harsh except don’t let it consume you and take over your mind as well.  It’s enough that it’s in your vessel, your body, your mind. 

I know when I was going through the throws of pain, excruciating I might add, similar to child birth actually, I had it wherever I was, at home, walking when I could, or at work. 

Practise thinking of something else; practise mind control; practise CBT.  

Practise sessions at the college went really well on Wednesday.

I have a presupposition that everybody enjoys themselves.  Of course, if there are conflicts and people don’t, enjoy them that is – then please do not come along. 

The programs are not compulsory – they are not a part of the curriculum – they are simply an added bonus of which Rob, the Manager has kindly allowed the students and graduates of AIPC to enjoy – gosh he even provides complimentary coffee in the mornings and sausage rolls and vege rolls – in such a gracious manner. 

So again – if people do not like what happens there or they consider it all outside of their comfort zone – please do not attend – it truly is all fine.  No hard feelings at all.

Now what does your audience want?  Who is your ideal client?  Have you all completed that handout I shared last year?  If not let me know and I’ll forward it along to you again or check out the website – you might find it there again. It’s called Creating Your Ideal Client Profile. 

Why did I bring this up you ask?  This was highlighted yesterday at a Blogging for Business event I went to at a library.

The presentation was fine, full of information except presented at the speed of light and difficult to keep up.  I’m a note-taker and found it quite frustrating when I didn’t have enough time to scribble down notes. 

The presenter may have had a presupposition of the audience knowing what she was talking about and what the acronyms meant. 

The pomodoro technique was touched on very briefly.  The presenter asked the audience who had heard of it and a few hands went up however it still wasn’t really explained so there I was wondering why bring it up if it isn’t explained?

Did she know what it meant herself – I wasn’t sure.  I also wasn’t sure about the presentation.

There was a lot of ‘now turn to the person next to you and find out this and find out that.’

I didn’t go to a presentation to find out what my neighbor wanted.  I wanted to find out about blogging and hopefully learn something new. 

So for those who are curious now about the Pomodoro technique – allow me to describe it in some of Kathleen’s words…..

Pomodoro means tomato in Italian.  It is based on the timer that looks like a tomato and is used for timing in cooking however in this instant it is used for time management and was developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 80’s.   

The method based on 25-minute stretches of focused work broken by 3-to-5 minute breaks and 15-to-30 minute breaks following the completion of four work periods. 

This essentially trains people to focus on tasks better by limiting the length of time they attempt to maintain that focus and ensuring restorative breaks from the effort. 

The method is designed to overcome the tendencies to procrastinate and to multitask – both of which have been found to impair productivity and to help users develop more efficient work habits.

Effective time management allows people to get more done in less time, while also fostering a sense of accomplishment and reducing the potential for burnout. 

Then there are 6 steps for the pomodoro technique however I’m not going to go on with those.

The one that really appealed to me was the one that Barbara Oakley explained; watch it on a link I’ll share in these notes here:  https://bigthink.com/videos/learn-how-to-learn-better-with-the-pomodoro- technique

I saw another one she presented years ago and then it was recommended to meditate for 10-15 minutes after a 20 minute stretch of study.  That the brain absorbs information better when it is relaxed.  Made sense to me.  Even the 20 or 25 minute focus could be challenging for some so do what you can, maybe 10 minutes and then 10 minutes of meditation to absorb what you have learned. 

I couldn’t find that particular video though, I saw it years ago and it made quite an impact on me and I shared it profusely with students of Estrada College when time was of the essence with their completion of units.  It was all very fast-paced and a lot of people were not coping with the speed at which they were expected to complete their units.  Maybe that’s partly why it didn’t really work. 

I get it that we learn more when we can relax in between intense bursts of study.  The brain can only take in so much at any given time. 

So back to what is really going on in our world right now.  Who really wants to talk about the Corona Virus – holy hell – what have we created?

Now, March to me is a beautiful month for birthdays. 

It’s my 7-year-old Scarlett’s birthday today followed by my other daughter’s birthday Jessica, tomorrow.  She is my youngest of five, yes five kids, 10 grandkids. 

The day after, the 17th is one of my best friends in America, Janet, and then four other friends through March as well. 

My grandson, Brad, with whom I have been disengaged is 19 on the 27th and his Dad, my son, Ben on the 29th which was my father’s birthday also.  He would have been 100 this year.  The 29th is also my daughter-in-law in Cairns, Penny and then her little boy, my grandson Alby the day after on the 30th and ta da the 31st the last day of March – ME – yes, it’s all about me ending March. 

Preparation for birthdays in April starts in March doesn’t it, Kelly and also my granddaughter in England, I need to send her gift in March so they arrive in April; I do remember them all with love. 

And back to families, as I do……

Why, why, why and I continue to work on the pain, the grief, the lack of communication.

The “I don’t want to be involved”; “I don’t want to talk about it”; bloody hell – why the hell not?  We are supposed to be FAMILY – not distant relatives.  How can you force it though?  You just can’t.  It’s truly sad, hey?

There are so many out there co-operating with abuse – emotional, physical, isolation, detachment, mental, verbal, psychological – we talk about ideal clients – what about families?

The remedy is communication – so people are not alone; they are not cut off for goodness knows what reasons; they are not isolated outcasts.  Geeezzz……

Sometimes we try to protect our kids from reality, we think we’re doing the right thing by not sharing with them struggles in the families and how it affects those close to us like Grandparents. 

Children may be protected for years except one day they will find out the truth.

They may sit next to another child at school who asks questions.  They may work in an environment that gives them the truth.  They may marry into a family that wants to know answers.  Isn’t it best to deliver the truth – fear is what stops some people. 

Fear of the truth that if it was found out to be about them, then what?  They would have to look at themselves and how would they cope with that.

Some people run away from the truth to protect themselves from a lie that they have created and somehow believed it to be true.  It can be quite damaging. 

Are you growing children with the truth?  Will they be equipped to support a friend who is going through trauma – not their own – their best friend.  Their neighbours; what happens in the next street. 

Support those we love with the truth in the best way you can, with love and it is everybody’s duty of care to each other.  Mental health challenges are rife in our world right now. 

Life is like a play – we merely go through the stages of our life acting it out.

The origin of the phrase ‘All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players’ is from Shakespeare’s As You Like It, 1600.  See even Shakespeare was onto it hey?

So, what did your parents teach you?  How old were you with the first lesson?  You think children aren’t really listening?  Trust me, they are little sponges, they are remembering everything.  When you think they are asleep – they are still listening and when they are awake, no matter what they are doing, they are still watching you and listening and learning and remembering. 

I saw it first hand just before at my little grand-daughter’s birthday – she is so onto her parents.  I love her so much in all her power and magnificence. 

When it was my little 11 year old granddaughter’s birthday a couple of weeks ago, because Lucia lives in Cairns we spoke on WhatsApp and I could see her watching me and we were laughing at different things we were discussing.  I could feel her excitement through the phone.  Yeah, I know it’s not the same as being physically close – it’s a compromise and it’s fine.  I just wish I could share that with the four grand-children who are disengaged. 

Some say at least you have many others, it’s true. 

However, love does not divide, it multiplies.  They are all individuals and all different. 

Yes, I do love them all equally.  Some I don’t know as well as I would like to and love will endure I know that for sure. 

Now back to forward planning.  AND thinking of something else…..

Since Michelle asked me to speak at the ACA Chapter meeting for March in a couple of weeks, so much has happened in our world, in our community, in our lives that to design a presentation back then is sort of ideal, except what people might like to hear could change. 

So through the week, I will make a start and if you think of anything specifically you would like me to add and for those who will attend, by all means let me know and for those who are not attending for some reason or another, then I will share a bit of what I will be presenting at our Healing Café next week ok.

Now, through this week also, Janice Muir and her book writing retreats will be creating another video to inform interested parties what to expect in May, so you have a couple of months to prepare. 

Even though I’m going to be a part of this event, I know that I will be learning along with others because I too, have a book in me waiting to emerge. 

It’s like some people and travelling hey – oh I’ll do that when I’m older.  Why wait?  See I’m guilty as charged, I’ve said that.  Too busy, put it off for a rainy day – put it off till later then all of a sudden, we’re dead with that book still unwritten inside us.

Aaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Let’s end with Guy Sebastian’s “Before I go – You’ll Know My Name” 

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=youll+know+my+name+before+I+go+song&view=detail&mid=A14C8B67C5EE90864DB4A14C8B67C5EE90864DB4&FORM=VIRE

and I will see you all same time, next Sunday arvo right here in the Healing Café. 

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