Healing Cafe Message 1st March 2020

Hi there, welcome to the Healing Café –

My name is Kathleen Casagrande; I am the Director of KC Consulting Systems.

Apologies for last week’s sound challenges.

I was at my daughter’s house and her husband was competing in a cycle racing competition; that was the sound.  Some thought it was vacuuming and other ideas which slightly amused me. 

The best compliment I received was from Michael who said his family were tuning in in their car and with the sound of my voice and the white noise, it put their baby to sleep.  I thought that was hilarious and thank you Michael for letting me know my gift has not left me ie of putting babies to sleep 😊

I did have the opportunity of looking after the youngest of my 10 grandchildren the other night and wowza he is very active.  He’s three now and I think he may love me as much as I love him.  We get along really, really well – as long as his nose does not run……..

The notes from the previous weeks are posted into my website though, so if you want to read what I say basically, you will find them there, ok. 

Good news; my new modem has arrived and connected now; thank you Jess.

She also had to come back again this morning to connect the printer for me to be able to scan stuff as well as print and post. 

Golly gee so much to know hey? 

I received around 5,000 email in the week it was out and had to buy more storage for Google Drive or email or something.  It’s all a bit complicated and I have mentioned before how this is not my area of expertise.

I could see email on my phone however the laborious task of finding attachments or previous email to respond was doing my head in. 

Yes, delegating is the way to go and yes, I try to as much as possible.

The need for support and connection is so blatantly obvious in our world right now and well, always has been as I mentioned last week and probably at least a hundred times before.    

Having groups connecting and talking and communicating together about this, whatever your way of seeing it or your viewpoint is different, then talk, listen, communicate – PLEASE!!!!!!!

It will happen.

I also know that because of mental health challenges in our world right now, there are many grants available to community – it’s just knowing about those, writing tenders for those and knowing wording and all that which is involved with achieving this side of things.

I was connected with a beautiful very helpful lady called Toni Raso, Director of A Better Bid.  Toni was referred to me by Martin Mills of BNBRH. 

She educated me somewhat about how specific I need to be with what it is that I want. 

What would be best achieved in the space of where I do want to run or facilitate specific groups of people. 

All I really want is to help heal communication with the human family. 

However, this needs to be nutted out and then to find the particular Grant that could be available for something like that.

And that’s where Toni would come in, to actually write or tender for that Grant. 

Yes folks, it is a process; time consuming and costly.  Funding always is. 

This is why a lot of people do not access funding opportunities that are available out there, particularly in the Mental Health world.  People just want to help others. 

They study to learn the “right way” to help others.

They are gifted.  It’s just being paid or funded for what they are good at. 

Golly just this morning, there was a Facebook ad for some program, in America of course and I’m confident it would be brilliant, to learn how to be a better therapist and to attract more clients to your business and how to make them come back for more sessions and on and on it went. 

That is what is happening in our world today.  It’s online. 

People study how they think is the right way and it is and it could be however it might not be the right way for that particular client who is attracted to them at that particular time in their lives right?

We do not know what people want.

We can presume, however still be wrong.

To turn up is sometimes all that is required.

Please try not to continue to try to make yourself into what you think is right for everybody.

Once you think you have it right, you’re half-way there. 

It’s about accessing confidence within yourself to simply know the right questions at the right time or to simply just sit in that person’s space and allow them to feel comfortable and safe.  Secure in the knowledge that they have selected the right space and their own words will arrive.  Or not.

A lot of people are finding it difficult to actually communicate right?

They’re texting.

Look I’m guilty as charged.

Yes, I did say this last week, you may have heard me say this above the white noise that,

Sometimes I do prefer texting to actually talking with somebody.

It’s quicker, less involved, straight to the point…………however……………

It is still a quick fix. 

When I want to talk at an emotional level, then I want to communicate with a person who is being REAL.

Then I launched into the pitfalls of Domestic Violence.

I won’t travel down that path again however before I leave it, I do want to make mention about the ACA Chapter meeting that I attended on Tuesday evening where discussions were around Supervision as a group and the mention of DV and mandatory reporting was shared in depth.

Extremely valuable content delivered from other people from different services in the room. 

Excellent content and whenever you get the opportunity of attending the Supervision month, please make sure you try to attend, so valuable and also achieve points towards your PD.    

Of course, the alternate month is a professional development presentation and I am honored to be able to present the next one in March.  It will be the fourth Tuesday of the month as usual.  Yes, there are 5 Tuesdays in March and we do often have the ACA Chapter meeting on the last Tuesday of the month except the last Tuesday in March is the 31st and yay that just happens to be MY BIRTHDAY. 

So yes, for those who don’t know – I am an Aries – yes, you can analyze that inside-out and all is fine in my world. 

Actually the day before last Tuesday, on the Monday I was fortunate enough to enjoy the Energy Healing of an amazing therapist called Irenee Brooks, go into her website www.inspirationalvibrations.com and there you will find some beautiful meditations which I have listened to Irenee, however not completely because I have a de-fault pattern of falling asleep when I become too relaxed.  Not sure what the answer is or even if it is a problem. 

Yes, I was sitting up in a chair and yes, the lights were on and yes, my body did not care, it was still asleep.

Yes, I did wake up when it was complete, so I know my yoga teacher, Cheryl has said that I am listening at a certain level that is right for me and it works so that really is all that matters. 

So, you don’t have to be always laying down to absorb a meditation.  Listening is from a certain level of consciousness. 

Tuesday was full of appointments with a variety of 4 different people and then the Chapter meet-up that night; great connection with other therapists in the industry where those meetings are the only chance we have to catch up.  Nelda Walliss is one of those and she admitted she has been very successful with her Rock n Roll dance classes and Line Dancing.  You can see her online demonstrating – very entertaining Nelda.   

Wednesday started out with a business breakfast meeting then over to the college for the Advanced Skills In Action highlighting CBT – Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. 

We all enjoyed that – well I know I did, particularly the evening session where I attended after a yoga session at the Greenslopes hospital.  That one is always amazing and held fortnightly for cancer patients whenever they have experienced the journey.  It’s brilliant and facilitated by a clinical nurse from the oncology section – certainly knows her stuff. She even uses Sanskrit language where applicable.     

Oh and by the way, we were talking about the benefits to the body with restorative yoga at our skills in action – Brooke do you remember – we couldn’t think of the name of the FASCIA which is the substance between the skin and wraps around the muscles, bones, nerves, blood vessels, organs and cells.  When the fascia is relaxed, we can remain relaxed for so much longer in time and that is another advantage of meditation.  Deep relaxation in stillness. 

I won’t bore you all with my crazy week – well it would appear crazy to some, however for me, it’s all planned carefully and respectfully of my body and where it is at – right now. 

I know my limits, my boundaries and how best to run my life, particularly my business and how it fits in with my health and my sleep. 

Right down to the most beautiful facial I have ever received from Trish who owns her own beauty therapy business and is also a life coach.  Our Friday afternoon appointment was planned about a month ago and it ended my week perfectly. 

Thank you Trish; you will find her right here in the Healing Café under Trish Ivey or rebalance.beauty@gmail.com however understand that when somebody is that good, there will always be a wait, so be prepared. 

Oh, I need to mention here also about my Saturday afternoon connection with some ladies who I have stayed in touch with for over 50 years.  You may have seen them in my personal Facebook page where we met up and talked for hours about how it was back then. 

We worked at a company called the Union-Fidelity Trustee Company, it was my first job after leaving school in Year 10. 

I was a girl for goodness sakes, I wasn’t allowed to go onto Year 12.  That was for the boys.  Worst I asked could I do the Academic Course and it was met with a NO – absolutely not.  I was to do the Commercial subjects so I could get a job in an office. 

Well thank you Dad now, because it certainly has highlighted my skill with typing.  Here I am being able to touch type faster than I could write. 

Then being able to read the typed written words are so much better than deciphering my own. 

Dad said the day after my final exam at school, when I really wanted to catch a bus down the coast with my best friend, Lucy to go surfing, he said NO – absolutely not.  You are going into the city; you will get a job and you will not come home until you have one. 

So, into the city we went, walked up Adelaide, down Queen, up Elizabeth, down Charlotte. 

The Union-Fidelity Trustee company gave me a positive inspiration about accepting me for a position based on my results which would come out the following week from the exam the day before. 

The MBF (Medical Benefits Fund) also gave us both positive feedback.  Yes, Lucy would apply in the same places as I would. 

We knew we could have achieved a few choices of positions however we were the ones who were selective, based on what we wanted in those days. 

Lucy liked the MBF because they had a blue uniform and she liked blue.

The UFT did not have a uniform – however after working there for a couple of years or maybe months, they did get one and I was rapt that it was green. 

No, I accepted the position offered to me at the UFT because there were a lot of males working there.  I really liked males back in those days.  Well, I still do, except a different type of “like” to a 16-year-old girl.  😊

So, at our reunion yesterday arvo, the 5 of us laughed and talked about that and what went on in the office and the memories were absolutely priceless.  The two who couldn’t come had the flu and thank you for not coming.  We will catch up again down the track. 

We reminisced about our times back in the 60s when we were in our late teens.  What was going through our minds; how some of us were connected through boyfriends and doing favors for each other even when we didn’t really want to.

How our lives have travelled in different directions since and over the years we have somehow managed to stay in touch.  

Comparing what we were like then to how we are now, gosh, it was over 50 years folks; 50 years. 

It was funny talking about what we thought of each other based on what we thought we knew about each other and how we looked.  Even how we walked.  A couple of my friends now, thought that back then, I was so confident the way that I would strut around in my strappy stilettos.  Very tall with long blonde hair however inside of me was this frightened little mouse who was terrified of everything especially the boys.  Appearance does not always display a lack of confidence. 

Now I’m not going to entertain you for one more minute about those good old days except that in those good old days, we never thought about what would happen when we were old, especially when we were over 20.

So, consider always when you’re talking with or counselling, coaching, inspiring a child or a teenager, they do not really think about what they are going to be doing in the future.

Some have a vague idea, some aspire to certain goals, maybe sporting achievements, music, etc which could be encouraged by their parents or coaches. 

It’s more about how they feel within themselves about whatever it is that’s going on in their lives at that particular time. 

So, be prepared to just sit in their space and yes, it is the same for any age. 

Future focused works for many, not everybody. 

CBT and also Solution-Focused Therapy have great counselling and coaching techniques IF and WHEN the client is ready to receive those. 

Remember it’s all about building the rapport with the client so the time becomes available to the person, child, teenager, aged care client, family, friend, work colleague when THEY are ready – not YOU …………them. 

I heard a quote from June Dally-Watkins, who died on the 22nd, said once “I want to be remembered as being a worthwhile person and helping young people find their direction in life”.

What an achievement that would be huh?

Now, on a lighter note, or a deeper note according to some people:

Have you ever wondered why you are here?

Why you have been placed here on Earth at this particular time?

Why you meet the people you do or notice that you have met before, except have no idea where?

Have you considered that maybe you have met in a previous life experience? 

Sometimes, through a dream or many dreams or transcendental meditation where we visit or re-visit those times. 

Now, I’m not going to become that person who says go here, go there, do this, do that. 

There are fully-qualified people who can do that for you – like Sue McLachlan – of Past Lives, Future Lives and Beyond. 

Then there was the meeting at the college the other night and during the day, where the connection and what I was talking about simply resonated with a couple of people – not all and that’s ok.

We recognize and then remember not only what I was talking about (CBT), it was more personal. 

My character or deeper personality, my spirit, my awareness, maybe my identity was recognized – is that a fluke?  What is that?  We don’t analyze it – it is what it is – it’s a remembering. 

It’s as simple or as complicated as we want to make it. 

Then some of us are led to document our learnings, our journey, what we want to be remembered by. 

Janice Muir is planning the content of her Book Writing Retreats; look out for those.  The venue has already been booked.  She’s being stretched with challenges of course – I.T. like everybody else Jan; you know that. 

What the reason is?  It’s in the stars, the planets, who knows?  Jan’s Facebook page and I Believe I Achieve can be better sourced via her website www.janicemuir.com – you will find out more about her that way.  Plus bookwritingretreats@outlook.com

Members of our Healing Café, I work with people who are moving forward in their lives. 

If you are in a predicament you’re not enjoying – get out.

If you are someone who holds onto the misery and wallows in it and enjoys at some level – stay there by all means.  Of course, stay in the addiction. 

However, if you decide that enough is enough and says “show me how” then yes, I would love to work with you. 

You have choices, you can do what I have learned and stay or some of you won’t be for me and that’s all good. 

As I tell my coachee counsellors continuously – “You are not for everybody” and geez you’d be too busy, wouldn’t you?

Try not to put somebody else down because their views and opinions differ to your own.

Accept them as the truth for them.

What is going on in their lives and in their bodies is totally different to what is going on in yours, no matter how the similarities appear, feel, or coincide. 

Acceptance is the key. 

I will see you all next week in our Healing Café at 4.30 and I was going to end with Desiderata if I had the time.  Will post it separately through the week.  I just love it. 

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